Rico Slade Will Fucking Kill You

I got a Kindle Fire as an early Christmas present, and it comes with a free month of Amazon Prime. This includes access to the Kindle Lending Library. Since I only have a few days to read the book before my month expires, I wanted to pick a short one. Since I'm trying to get enough review points to get a free book from the Bizarro Brigade, I wanted a bizarro novel. I decided to go with Rico Slade Will Fucking Kill You because it met these conditions and was the bizarro novel with the highest list price I saw that was part of the library. Also, it looked freaking cool.

It's the story of Chip Johnson, an action movie star who is best known for playing Rico Slade. Chip is bald, a poor dresser, and gay. Rico Slade is none of these things, and the stress of hiding it all causes Chip to flip out and believe that he really is Rico Slade.

Rico believes that he is traveling the city looking for his arch-nemesis, Baron Mayhem, while ripping out the throats of terrorists and henchmen. In reality, he's running around punching people and gibbering insanely. This book  manages to combine  lots of humor with action, most of which doesn't really happen outside of the protagonist's mind.

The only problem I had was with the scenes featuring Chip's shrink Harold Schwartzman. Harold is incompetent, and is married to an obese woman who wants lots of "bling" and to have gangbangs at the local diner. His scenes are occasionally tedious and aren't as funny as the Chip/Rico ones.

A Town Called Suckhole

Ever since I joined the Bizarro Brigade, I've been trying to read more bizarro fiction.  The most recent bizarro novel, or possibly novella since it is fairly short,  I read is A Town Called Suckhole by David W. Barbee.

This is basically a sort of buddy cop, post-apocalyptic, redneck, murder mystery sort of thing. In the town of Suckhole, which was founded by "George W. Foxworthy" there are a bunch of half-witted rednecks who believe in a twisted version of history wherein the world ended when that Yankee "Abraham Hussein Lincoln" went to war against the south. Luckily even though the world blew up, St. Hank (Williams Jr.) assassinated the evil man.

Many years later, someone is murdering the male residents of Suckhole and cutting off their penises. The sheriff knows he's not smart enough to solve the crime, so he convinces a swamp mutant called Dexter Spikes to take on the case. From there things start getting weird.

This is a great funny, weird book with lots of action and laughs. It's well worth a read.

The Morbidly Obese Ninja by Carlton Mellick III

The Internet has spawned many great debates in its time, and the greatest of those has to be the great pirates vs. ninjas debate. I personally have always been in the pirate lovers camp, but I still think ninjas are pretty darn cool. I am also a fan of anime, so I figured that since The Morbidly Obese Ninja is billed as anime in written form, I should give it a try.

It's a good book. It's very funny. The very concept of a morbidly obese ninja who manages to kick butt with the best is an inherently funny concept. This book is also fairly gory, what with the ninja chopping people in half and smashing them with his intense weight, and that sort of thing. There's also a diarrhea scene, which is both disgusting and not the sort of thing you usually see in literature.

Our hero is Basu, a 700 pound ninja who eats because he has been infected with a nano-poison that forces him to consume massive quantities of food or die. Despite that, he is still the deadliest ninja in Neo Tokyo. He gets sent on a mission to find a piggy bank that has the form of a small boy. In doing so he must cross swords with his archenemy, Crow.

It's a cool story, and well worth reading.