I Can't Believe I Actually Finished It

Have you ever wondered what would happen if a scam publisher insulted science fiction and fantasy writers by, basically calling them all hacks? And Have you ever wondered what would happen if a group of SF and fantasy writers retaliated by writing the worst book possible and getting the scammers to agree to publish it? No, I never wondered that either, but it happened, and the result is Atlanta Nights by Travis Tea (note the pun).

While I'm on the subject of literary scammers, I'd just like to mention the name of Barbara Bauer and state that she is on the 20 Worst agents List. If you want to know why, I'm posting this, check here or here. Feel free to send me one of your legendary Cease-and-Desist notices. It's lonely in here, and I might just print it out, frame it, and hang it on my wall. Now back to your regularly scheduled review.

Before I get any farther into the review, I should point oint that the publisher of Atlanta Nights, Lulu.com, is not the scam publisher in question, that would be Publish America. Once the writers involved revealed their little sting operation, PA revoked their offer. I find the whole thing extremely funny. If you want more information, buy the book and read the Afterword.

Atlanta Nights is almost certainly the most remarkable book I've ever read. The book is chock full of extraordinary plot devices including characters who change their sex from one chapter to another, or change their race, or come back from the dead. There areIf you're reading this, Barbara, also numerous creative uses of spelling and grammer. The authors are also obvoisly very ecologically friendly, as the recycled one chapter by using it twice. I should also note that cutting edge technology was used to allow a computer to generate one of the chapters--I hope it was chapter 34, because I would be seriously worried about the mental health of any human being who could write like that.

I'm going to give Atlanta Nights -5 out of -5 yo-yos. Now, see if you can figure out if that's a good thing or not. Up next, I'm reading C. J. Cherryh's The Chanur Saga.

Big Wheel (of Time) Keep on Turnin'

Okay, I've finished reading Robert Jordan's Knife of Dreams, which is volume 11 in the Wheel of Time--though sometimes it feels more like volume 100. Don't get me wrong, I like the series, but it's just way too long. I mean, 11 books so far and one more planned, with each book being thick enough to stun an ox with. Not only are they big and numerous, but several of the books in the middle of the series were completely unnecessary.

That is one of the major complaints I, and a lot of others, have about the series. The first few books were good, maybe even great, but towards the middle of the series, the plot stopped advancing. There were even a few books where the Dragon Reborn--the main character--would only be in one or two chapters. Not only that, but Jordan kept adding new characters and plots and cutting back on the older ones.

This is finally changing. The plot in this book actually moves forward. We Finally see Mat and Tuon married (Hey, it was prophesied so I'm not spoiling anything). We see advancements in Elayne's struggle for the throne and Perrin's attempts to rescue his wife. We here more of the Aelfinn and Eelfinn. We even find out something about Moiraine's fate.

There are still some problems though. There are so many characters and plot lines now that some of the major ones still get short changed. Lan is only in one chapter. Rand at'Thor, the Dragon Reborn, isn't in all that many either. Neither are Loiall, Aviehda, or Nynavere (sorry about any misspelled names, but they are very weird names and I don't feel like looking up the correct spellings). One of my favorite characters, the mysterious villain Padan Fain, isn't in it at all. Tying up all the lose ends is probably going to make the next book--which is supposed to be the final one--heavy enough to stun an elephant with.

I just hope there is going to be a next one. If you hadn't heard, Robert Jordan is seriously ill. By all accounts (that I've heard anyway), he's fighting well, and will hopes to be writing for years. I give this book 4.5 yo-yos. It's good, but the plot is kind of a tangled mess, and Jordan's going to have a hell of a time sorting it all out.

A (Fairly) Wild Ride

Okay, so, I've finished reading Trudi Canavan's Last of the Wilds. Actually, I finished it a few days ago, but I've been kind of lazy lately, so I'm just getting around to writing about it now.

If you've read my past reviews, you know that I've also read Canavan's Black Magician Trilogy, and that I liked it. This book, is the second volume of her second trilogy, Age of the Five. Even though I didn't write a review of the first volume, Priestess of the White, I really enjoyed it.

I really enjoyed this one too. All the characters from the first book are here, and all of them are very well crafted. Auraya has got to be one of my favorite heroines in all of fantasydom (if that's not a word, it should be). We learn more about the history of the characters, too, like the true story of Mirar and Leiard. We also learn a bit about the nature of the gods, and find out that the Pentadrians.

One thing I really didn't like--and really, I think either the author should have realized the mistake while researching or the editor should have picked up on it it--is the Twins. The are a pair of separated conjoined twins who are brother and sister. Anyone who knows anything about the subject knows that conjoined twins are ALWAYS identical. Next time, research.

I really did like the book, but that one glaring mistake annoys me so much, I'm giving it 4 yo-yos. Up next, the Wheel of time part 11, Knife of Dreams.