Cthulhu Comes to the Vampire Kingdom

This is a weird, Lovecraftian, sparkly-vampire-filled, bizarro novel that I got a free pdf of from the Bizarro Brigade. It's a strange read.

It's set on a vampire world that formerly had oceans of blood and blood storms. Now the oceans are frozen and the storms are gone. The vampires are at their wits end. One faction wants to move underground so they can solve their problems through science. Another faction summons Cthulhu to save the planet's environment.

There are hamburgers, lolcats, a burning girl, penis monsters, and  things even more disturbing. I enjoyed it.

Rico Slade Will Fucking Kill You

I got a Kindle Fire as an early Christmas present, and it comes with a free month of Amazon Prime. This includes access to the Kindle Lending Library. Since I only have a few days to read the book before my month expires, I wanted to pick a short one. Since I'm trying to get enough review points to get a free book from the Bizarro Brigade, I wanted a bizarro novel. I decided to go with Rico Slade Will Fucking Kill You because it met these conditions and was the bizarro novel with the highest list price I saw that was part of the library. Also, it looked freaking cool.

It's the story of Chip Johnson, an action movie star who is best known for playing Rico Slade. Chip is bald, a poor dresser, and gay. Rico Slade is none of these things, and the stress of hiding it all causes Chip to flip out and believe that he really is Rico Slade.

Rico believes that he is traveling the city looking for his arch-nemesis, Baron Mayhem, while ripping out the throats of terrorists and henchmen. In reality, he's running around punching people and gibbering insanely. This book  manages to combine  lots of humor with action, most of which doesn't really happen outside of the protagonist's mind.

The only problem I had was with the scenes featuring Chip's shrink Harold Schwartzman. Harold is incompetent, and is married to an obese woman who wants lots of "bling" and to have gangbangs at the local diner. His scenes are occasionally tedious and aren't as funny as the Chip/Rico ones.

A Town Called Suckhole

Ever since I joined the Bizarro Brigade, I've been trying to read more bizarro fiction.  The most recent bizarro novel, or possibly novella since it is fairly short,  I read is A Town Called Suckhole by David W. Barbee.

This is basically a sort of buddy cop, post-apocalyptic, redneck, murder mystery sort of thing. In the town of Suckhole, which was founded by "George W. Foxworthy" there are a bunch of half-witted rednecks who believe in a twisted version of history wherein the world ended when that Yankee "Abraham Hussein Lincoln" went to war against the south. Luckily even though the world blew up, St. Hank (Williams Jr.) assassinated the evil man.

Many years later, someone is murdering the male residents of Suckhole and cutting off their penises. The sheriff knows he's not smart enough to solve the crime, so he convinces a swamp mutant called Dexter Spikes to take on the case. From there things start getting weird.

This is a great funny, weird book with lots of action and laughs. It's well worth a read.