This is a weird, Lovecraftian, sparkly-vampire-filled, bizarro novel that I got a free pdf of from the Bizarro Brigade. It's a strange read.
It's set on a vampire world that formerly had oceans of blood and blood storms. Now the oceans are frozen and the storms are gone. The vampires are at their wits end. One faction wants to move underground so they can solve their problems through science. Another faction summons Cthulhu to save the planet's environment.
There are hamburgers, lolcats, a burning girl, penis monsters, and things even more disturbing. I enjoyed it.