How to Eat Fried Furries

How to Eat Fried Furries by Nicole Cushing is a very strange book. It's written as if it were a promotional book given to attendees at the American Association of Furry Farmers trade show. It contains recipes for furries and "nonfiction" and short stories. Some of the stories relate to an imaginary 70s TV show called Ferret Force Five, which if it had existed would have been very strange indeed. There are other stories involving Pseudo-Amish starting a fake furry farm and the Easter Bunny trying to whack Santa Clause.

This is all very strange even by the standard of the other bizarro books I've read. It's certainly interesting though. After reading this book you'll never look at squirrels the same way again.

Cripple Wolf

Cripple Wolf by Jeff Burk is a collection of bizarro short stories. It's a darn good collection too. I think it's probably the best collection of bizarro stories I've read, which isn't actually saying much, since this is only the third one I've read. Still, I really did like it.

The titular story is about a wheelchair-bound werewolf who slaughters a plane full of fetishists. There's a Christmas story about a junkie version of Frosty the Snowman. There's a story about reality show featuring cannibal chefs. There are cats, space badgers, elderly punk rockers, and a park.

I really loved the werewolf story and the chef story. The rest of the stories were mostly pretty good too. However, the story with the park, "Just Another Day in the Park," was probably my least favorite in the book, as it seemed to be a lacking something.

I think this book is well worth the time of anyone who likes weird  stories and isn't bothered by gore.

Cthulhu Comes to the Vampire Kingdom

This is a weird, Lovecraftian, sparkly-vampire-filled, bizarro novel that I got a free pdf of from the Bizarro Brigade. It's a strange read.

It's set on a vampire world that formerly had oceans of blood and blood storms. Now the oceans are frozen and the storms are gone. The vampires are at their wits end. One faction wants to move underground so they can solve their problems through science. Another faction summons Cthulhu to save the planet's environment.

There are hamburgers, lolcats, a burning girl, penis monsters, and  things even more disturbing. I enjoyed it.

Rico Slade Will Fucking Kill You

I got a Kindle Fire as an early Christmas present, and it comes with a free month of Amazon Prime. This includes access to the Kindle Lending Library. Since I only have a few days to read the book before my month expires, I wanted to pick a short one. Since I'm trying to get enough review points to get a free book from the Bizarro Brigade, I wanted a bizarro novel. I decided to go with Rico Slade Will Fucking Kill You because it met these conditions and was the bizarro novel with the highest list price I saw that was part of the library. Also, it looked freaking cool.

It's the story of Chip Johnson, an action movie star who is best known for playing Rico Slade. Chip is bald, a poor dresser, and gay. Rico Slade is none of these things, and the stress of hiding it all causes Chip to flip out and believe that he really is Rico Slade.

Rico believes that he is traveling the city looking for his arch-nemesis, Baron Mayhem, while ripping out the throats of terrorists and henchmen. In reality, he's running around punching people and gibbering insanely. This book  manages to combine  lots of humor with action, most of which doesn't really happen outside of the protagonist's mind.

The only problem I had was with the scenes featuring Chip's shrink Harold Schwartzman. Harold is incompetent, and is married to an obese woman who wants lots of "bling" and to have gangbangs at the local diner. His scenes are occasionally tedious and aren't as funny as the Chip/Rico ones.

A Town Called Suckhole

Ever since I joined the Bizarro Brigade, I've been trying to read more bizarro fiction.  The most recent bizarro novel, or possibly novella since it is fairly short,  I read is A Town Called Suckhole by David W. Barbee.

This is basically a sort of buddy cop, post-apocalyptic, redneck, murder mystery sort of thing. In the town of Suckhole, which was founded by "George W. Foxworthy" there are a bunch of half-witted rednecks who believe in a twisted version of history wherein the world ended when that Yankee "Abraham Hussein Lincoln" went to war against the south. Luckily even though the world blew up, St. Hank (Williams Jr.) assassinated the evil man.

Many years later, someone is murdering the male residents of Suckhole and cutting off their penises. The sheriff knows he's not smart enough to solve the crime, so he convinces a swamp mutant called Dexter Spikes to take on the case. From there things start getting weird.

This is a great funny, weird book with lots of action and laughs. It's well worth a read.